Post by Guest on May 7, 2005 8:09:33 GMT -5
40 Things seldom heard in Saskatchewan
40. I heard the bonspeil was going to be alcohol free
39. Did you hear Nicole Kidman was spotted in Prince Albert?
38. Duct tape isn’t going to fix that.
36. Come to think of it cancel that beer, I'll have a wine spritzer.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house
34. Is the seafood fresh?
33. Sorry can't help you, I don't know where you could find a vlt.
32. I think John Deere Green looks tacky
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe
30. I think it’s fair that Tereasa lost the idol competition, that little Albertan hobbit was just way more talented.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to P.E.T.A.?
28. So that's a tractor.
27. Perogies? What is that?
26. Why would we need beer? I thought we were just going fishing. (hunting, curling, across the street)
25. Honey, we don't need another dog
24. Who's Tommy Douglas?
23. So a Co-op’s a store? Is there one in this town?
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor
21. Could you give me a hand to draw this map. The top and bottom are just straight lines, what bout the sides?
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Canadian Tire today.
19. Over here is our line of tofu meat products.
18. Aw Tim Hortons again, there’s a Starbucks down the street
17. Why would you need a bbg truck like that?
16. So that’s a Buffalo, what’s a Bison?
15. Did you remember to change your clock?
14. I was thinking of adding a spoiler to my lowered Honda.
13. Are you going to make it to Saskatoon for the gay parade?
12. I don't think the Roughriders have a chance this year.
11. I've got two cases of Corona for the Grey Cup
10. Could I please be served in French
09. I just don’t feel like Bingo tonight
08. Shame about Moose Jaw getting hit by that hurricane. (mudslide, earthquake, volcano, avalanche etc.)
07. So, what phone company are you with?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Corner Gas" that we haven't seen
05. I don't have a favorite farm equipment brand.
04. It’s just over that hill. (or just around the bend in the hiway)
03. I’m just going to skip white tail season this year, I can't find any one to tape the View.
02. I'm rooting for the Eskimos to take it.
01. Nope, no more for me, I’m snowmobiling home
**Can joke about the weather...now that were thawing**
Canadian Temperature Scale
+70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
+60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
+50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.
+40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.
+32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
+20 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
+15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 degrees
People in Miami all die...
Canadians lick the flagpole.
20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Canada start saying, "Eh, Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup
**NO NHL...but we can dream**
An Oilers fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest
An Oilers fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off.
On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road. On closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a replica Flames sweater. Now, the Oiler fan that was driving just hated the Flames, and he suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the Flames fan jumped out of the way, the driver of the car heard a bang, but he was sure he'd missed him.
The two men proceeded to the church in silence. The Oilers fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I don't know what came over me. Can you forgive me, Father??"
The Priest replied, "Of course I can forgive you, my son. Don't worry - I GOT HIM WITH THE CAR DOOR."
40. I heard the bonspeil was going to be alcohol free
39. Did you hear Nicole Kidman was spotted in Prince Albert?
38. Duct tape isn’t going to fix that.
36. Come to think of it cancel that beer, I'll have a wine spritzer.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house
34. Is the seafood fresh?
33. Sorry can't help you, I don't know where you could find a vlt.
32. I think John Deere Green looks tacky
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe
30. I think it’s fair that Tereasa lost the idol competition, that little Albertan hobbit was just way more talented.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to P.E.T.A.?
28. So that's a tractor.
27. Perogies? What is that?
26. Why would we need beer? I thought we were just going fishing. (hunting, curling, across the street)
25. Honey, we don't need another dog
24. Who's Tommy Douglas?
23. So a Co-op’s a store? Is there one in this town?
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor
21. Could you give me a hand to draw this map. The top and bottom are just straight lines, what bout the sides?
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Canadian Tire today.
19. Over here is our line of tofu meat products.
18. Aw Tim Hortons again, there’s a Starbucks down the street
17. Why would you need a bbg truck like that?
16. So that’s a Buffalo, what’s a Bison?
15. Did you remember to change your clock?
14. I was thinking of adding a spoiler to my lowered Honda.
13. Are you going to make it to Saskatoon for the gay parade?
12. I don't think the Roughriders have a chance this year.
11. I've got two cases of Corona for the Grey Cup
10. Could I please be served in French
09. I just don’t feel like Bingo tonight
08. Shame about Moose Jaw getting hit by that hurricane. (mudslide, earthquake, volcano, avalanche etc.)
07. So, what phone company are you with?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Corner Gas" that we haven't seen
05. I don't have a favorite farm equipment brand.
04. It’s just over that hill. (or just around the bend in the hiway)
03. I’m just going to skip white tail season this year, I can't find any one to tape the View.
02. I'm rooting for the Eskimos to take it.
01. Nope, no more for me, I’m snowmobiling home
**Can joke about the weather...now that were thawing**
Canadian Temperature Scale
+70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
+60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
+50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.
+40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.
+32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
+20 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
+15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 degrees
People in Miami all die...
Canadians lick the flagpole.
20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Canada start saying, "Eh, Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup
**NO NHL...but we can dream**
An Oilers fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest
An Oilers fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off.
On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road. On closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a replica Flames sweater. Now, the Oiler fan that was driving just hated the Flames, and he suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the Flames fan jumped out of the way, the driver of the car heard a bang, but he was sure he'd missed him.
The two men proceeded to the church in silence. The Oilers fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I don't know what came over me. Can you forgive me, Father??"
The Priest replied, "Of course I can forgive you, my son. Don't worry - I GOT HIM WITH THE CAR DOOR."
