How we care for the sick and en-firmed are how we will be judged. Our love and compassion can and should be grown for those less able to "enjoy" a full life. As a society, when there is someone willing, there must be a way to have the responsibility of care transferred.
Most of you who are young and pre-father or mother-hood, respond from the perspective of what energizes you; your boundless youthful immortality. I used to feel the same way. My pride kept me in the "I'd rather be dead than be a burden to people" camp. I am going through watching how my wife's family is dealing with similar issues of the DNR, long term care for my elderly Father-in-law, and it is gut wrenching. How the pride and persona is being stolen, in bits, from this wonderful man. Yet the love and strength that has been blossoming in the family around him in this crisis is the real miracle.
I know some of you don't believe in God, but when you do, you see life from a whole different perspective. He has all our days numbered. We check out just as He wants, when and how, including life-support and the rest. How we around our least-able react, are we judged. Ooops! There's that judgment thing again. We all would like to avoid it. I know I spent most of my life ignoring it.
My aunt, thirty years ago, was a "young" good-looking 40 year old. She was an olympic diver back in the sixties and worked in the Playboy Club as a waitress. I say this to establish her lifestyle. Out in Phoenix she had finally found her man. A successful businessman that she planned to marry. Unfortunately from a societal viewpoint at the time, she became pregnant before their marriage. She found out that the baby had a birth defect. He did not want children, least of all one with down syndrome, and demanded that she get an abortion. My aunt refused he dumped her, and family took her in. She has been our "burden", in more ways than one, ever since. In 1975 my cousin Kristen was born. Most looked at it, as I did back in the day, that perhaps my aunt should have heeded her almost beau and nixed the kid.
Now, I have over 100 people in my immediate family, including aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses, and all their children and their children's children. All beautiful, fully-formed, (despite the occasional whacked-out personality and the alcoholic roots of this Polish Irish tree) fully functional members of society except one. The one that was to be aborted, because she was retarded.
Kristen has done more with her life, and done more for the lives around her than anyone in my family. Her sweetness and natural warmth transcends the cynical "retarded-ness" of the rest of the family. Way before she had this latest batch of blessings, she had spent time with the stars and the elite. She's spent time with, everyone from Hulk Hogan to Shania Twain and tells of it with such innocence and wonder that you can't help but love her. When I spend time with her I realize that I am the one handicapped.
When Christ was asked why there were sick and suffering, he responded by saying "in order for God to work His miracles". His miracles were done at the time and continue to blossom today. Our hearts are changed when we give care to the helpless amongst us. Even what we see as a worthless life has worth under His plan. There is a lot to learn from those less fortunate than we. Government and institutions should facilitate our ability to care, not supplant or mandate it. As a society we have much to be held accountable for.
You can read about Kristen here:
www.specialolympics.org/Special+Olympics+Public+Website/English/Press_Room/Global_news/Viennese+Opera+Ball.htmwww.altonweb.com/cs/downsyndrome/index.htm?page=oct03.htmlBERNARDSVILLE - For nearly two decades, Pine Street resident Kristen Clark has been an accomplished two-sport Special Olympian.
This summer, her athletic prowess has led to a friendship with one of the world's most renowned political families.
Clark, who has Down Syndrome, is currently staying at the Kennedy family's Cape Cod compound in Massachusetts. She was invited to spend time there this summer by Eunice Kennedy Shriver, founder and honorary chairwoman of the Special Olympics.
Shriver's and Clark's friendship was spurred by a simple encounter at the New Jersey Special Olympics gymnastic competition in Trenton two months ago. Clark's mother, Pat, wanted to take a photograph of her daughter with Shriver. When Kristen Clark asked Shriver if she would oblige, they struck up a conversation and hit it off.
"When I asked (Shriver) if I could take a picture, she shooed me away," said Pat Clark. "She was so engrossed in talking to Kristen."
Pat Clark eventually got to take the photograph and her daughter later received the chance to spend time with one of the globe's most famous families.
The offer came from Shriver after Kristen Clark competed in July at the Special Olympics World Summer Games in Dublin, Ireland. Shriver attended the competition, at which Kristen, 26, captured gold medals in two events, silvers in two others, and won silver in the all-around gymnastics competition.
Shriver, 82, is the sister of U.S. Sen. Edward "Ted" Kennedy of Massachusetts, the late President John F. Kennedy and the late Robert F. Kennedy. In 1953 she married Sargent Shriver, the first director of the Peace Corps and the Democratic Party's candidate for vice president in 1972. The two had five children, including television journalist Maria Shriver, who is married to actor and California Republican gubernatorial hopeful Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Shriver founded the Special Olympics in 1968, in part because of her experience with her mentally handicapped sister, Rosemary. She also is executive vice president of the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation, which funds Catholic organizations and institutions for the mentally handicapped.
Kristen Clark arrived in Cape Cod on Aug. 2 and will return later this month. She has phoned her mother often from Massachusetts and one call produced a memorable surprise.
"I picked up the phone and the voice on the other end said, 'Hi, this is Ted Kennedy,' " said Pat Clark. "He said, 'There are a few people doing handstands on the beach and your daughter is one of them.' "
Her first week in Cape Cod also saw Kristen spending time on the Kennedys' yacht and co-piloting a small airplane, according to her mother.
During another phone call, Kristen asked her mom if she had "heard the announcement" regarding Schwarzenegger deciding last Wednesday to run for governor of California.
Winning Ways
While her vacation with the Kennedys is giving Kristen Clark an introduction to politics, she is already very familiar with winning Special Olympics events. She has never been defeated in a state-level competition in either gymnastics or figure skating in 18 years, according to her mother. Her figure skating partner is Basking Ridge resident Michael Ferraioli.
Kristen spends about 20 minutes each week working with a coach on her pairs skating and another 20 minutes on singles skating.
Many other Special Olympics skaters practice for longer periods, but her gymnastics training helps fill the gap.
Twice each week, Kristen works out at Central Jersey Dance and Gymnastics in Middlesex with the mainstream gymnastics team. She practices at other times, as well, depending on her stamina.
Kristin's mother, a former springboard and tower diver, coaches her.
Kristen wears a brace on her left leg for support. Her athletic prowess could be considered innate, according to her mother, even though she spends much time practicing.
"She was born into it," Pat Clark says of her daughter's skills. "(Kristen) makes the comment that she came out of the womb doing cartwheels."
Against the odds - Couple with Down Syndrome Marries by Brian Davidson. September 9, 2003. Post Register. Permission to reprint this article is granted only to the Riverbend Down Syndrome Parent Support Group. Each subsequent reprinter must seek permission.
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